OK, even if we were to give MP David Tredinnick the benefit of the doubt and say that he’s talking more John Dee and less the Metroscope, we’d still be mad to listen. What the fuck is going on and how is this man comfortable with making this suggestion?
Look, the only way you could possibly get astrology to have any kind of effect in the health of a person would be through the placebo effect. This is the reason Shamanism and Witch Doctors continue to exist – their patients believe in their powers as much as the Shamans do. Through some strange quirk of subconscious reality, our biology picks this up and can potentially help out.
That’s fantastic, but you can’t replicate it across a population of several million. You can’t introduce it into a science based field that relies on understanding biology and medicine and a wide range of other subjects in great detail. For a start the patients won’t believe it, which means it fails from the outset. More importantly this is extremely hit and miss even if you do believe it. You can’t just conjure up the placebo effect at will. You can try, and half of our scientific tests as based around this idea: Nobody, except the supplier, knows whether a new drug is a placebo or the real treatment. The placebo can work. You can’t build a stable health system off of that. I could go on as to why this cannot work, but you get the idea. And astrology? How does that even fit in?
‘Nurse! The patient’s chart, please.’
‘Here you go. He’s a Pisces.’
‘Ah yes, I see. Jupiter is in the third arc of the Sol in it’s Lunar reverse phase. If you’ve been feeling happy at some point this week, then you could try talking to a person. It could result in a conversation.’
‘Fantastic, doctor, but how does this cure my hepatitis?’
Apparently he’s ‘a member of the health committee and the science and technology committee’.
This is a ridiculous suggestion and should be laughed out of the country. What next? Homeopathy?