This is the type of accident that would only be plausible in a self aware comedy, but it’s not remotely funny.
In the enquiry into rampant government paedophilia, Westminster officials have ‘accidentally’ deleted important child rape testimony files. Right. Accidents happen. But I have to accident pretty fucking hard to delete important files off of my computer.
At its most basic level it would be:
‘Oops! Damn, my finger slipped on the right mouse button, scrolled down the context menu, happened to click delete/move to trash. I then accidentally moved my mouse down to the bottom of the screen, double clicked on the trash, scrolled through the list, and accidentally hit the right mouse button again, (damn fingers, I can never figure out which is which!) scrolled down the context list and, would you believe it: deleted the file. What a freak occurrence!’
I have to assume that Westminster has some better safeguards against that sort of thing… so what, did they accidentally raid the government backup servers too? You’d have to have some pretty shaky hands for that. So, what, people were working with jackhammers attached their arms? Were the people responsible for these accidents hopped up on cocaine and buggering children that afternoon, whilst they were getting some minor office work done?